Civil

Definitions: (1) respectful of the basic human rights of others; (2) courteous and polite; mannerly; (3) proper behavior

Synonyms: affable, complaisant, obliging

Quotes:
Manners are the basic building blocks of civil society. — Alexander “Sandy” McCall Smith (1948-) British legal scholar & author
• All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers. — François de Salignac de la Mothe-Fénelon (1651–1715) French theologian
• Law in general is human reason, inasmuch as it governs all the inhabitants of the earth: the political and civil laws of each nation ought to be only the particular cases in which human reason is applied. — Charles Louis de Secondat, Baron de La Brède et de Montesquieu (1689–1755) French judge & historian

Comments:
• When you choose to be civil you are creating civilization.
• Although being civil oftentimes implies an attitude little more than a lack of rudeness, it also implies a willingness to be tolerant. This is the beginning of an acceptance of our unavoidable differences, and a practical step away from the negative toward the positive.




Chutzpah

Definition: supreme self-confidence; nerve; audacity; temerity

Balancing Qualities: It’s easy for qualities of strength and self-reliance to get out of hand if they are not balanced by compassion, kindness, and a willingness to see the other person’s point of view.

Too Far: insolence

Quote: Poets are excellent students of blizzards and salt and broken statuary. If the poet does not have the chutzpah to jeopardize habituated assumptions and practices, what will be produced will be sleep without dream, a copy of a copy of a copy. — Dean Young (1955–2022) American poet

Comment: Chutzpah is like a strong spice; a little goes a long way.




Chummy

Definition: intimate companionship; affable friendliness; sociably outgoing

Derivation: English, “chimney sweep”

Quote: I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. — Dale Carnegie (1888–1955) American writer and lecturer

Comment: You can be chummy with anyone, but a true friend is another story.




Choice

Definitions: (1) something worthy of being favored; of special excellence; the best part of anything; (2) the ability to know the higher, better, or more preferable thing; recognition of prime value; (3) holding dear; (4) to select freely after careful consideration; the voluntary act of separating from two or more things; (5) having the right or privilege of an option

Synonyms: alternative, delicate, election, elegant, exquisite, rare

Compatible Qualities: decisive, freedom

Quotes:
• The only way to avoid all frightening choices is to leave society and become a hermit, and that is a frightening choice. — Richard Bach (1936-) One {1988}
• We can have health, love, longevity, understanding, adventure, money, happiness. We design our lives through the power of our choices. — Richard Bach (1936-) One {1988}
• When humans “invented” the concept of the infinite, they opened the possibility of all options. They stated in one word the ultimate value of choice. — Gerard Vincent Hubert Downs (1949-) American photographer & writer
• Creators are artists. And artists create originals! I can constantly continue to choose, moment by moment, what to put into my world. If I opt for a negative experience, I descend. If I opt for a positive experience, I ascend … and instantly, forces begin moving to manifest a positive result. … The higher choice will always be a positive one! — Jacquelyn Small (~1950’s-) Transformers, the Therapists of the Future {1982}
• Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. — Antoine Etienne Serres (1786-1868) French physician and embryologist
     Note: That is to say, the biological development of the individual repeats the stages of development of the genetic history of the organism. But because of choice, it is also possible to acquire qualities, and combinations of qualities, not inherent in one’s natural or environmental history.

Reflections:
• Many times a choice will be incorrect, but only by choosing and then consecrating that choice with action will you find out for sure. Since you can relive experience in memory, you can learn. The next time you choose, it will be an informed choice.
• Choice is the nourishment. Choice is the fuel. You can choose to satisfy needs on the physical, emotional, or spiritual levels. A crocodile perceives, in its primitive way, its hunger and “chooses” to eat a fish. It satisfies the need – making the choice on a physical level to continue to exist. If you choose to continue on the spiritual level, you will choose value as your fuel.
• It is not necessary to personally experience the negative in order to know where it will go. The repercussions of such decisions can be learned by observation, logic, and history – someone having already made that negative choice and shown us where the path leads. Even though knowing how not to act should be an influential factor in behavioral thinking, real motivation exists in experiencing the results of personal positive choice.
• Mistaken choices due to lack of information, clarity, intelligence, social conditions, frustration, environmental conditions, and even misguided curiosity, are included in reality because choice is universal and unassailable. Choice is one of the constants. Just as gravity and light are constants on the physical plane, choice is a constant on the personality plane. Even though light is a constant, there are places of darkness, so too with choice. Having the ability to choose, sometimes means an incorrect choice can be made.
     Two of the major elements of choice are options and contrast. Contrast implies conflict, adversity, and difficulty. The purpose of these seemingly negative characteristics is to shine light on the positive elements of unity, harmony, and understanding. This ultimately leads to increased wisdom. Through the experience of choices, positive and negative, one can make further choices with more precision, power, and poise.
• Habit is analogous to motion. The first choice is like the first movements of a baby on its way to developing the walking muscles and balance. Pulling, stretching, and crawling are the beginning of mobility. As the movement becomes habitual, as choice piles upon choice, you can become more and more flexible and efficient.
    Habit and inertia are related. The more dedicated your commitment, the more momentum it has behind it because of previous decisions and practices. If your decisions move you toward honesty, and then you make a decision that moves you toward dishonesty, that one instance of dishonest behavior creates drag on the positive force, but it usually will not hold enough energy to reverse your positive momentum. The same is also true if you make many negative behavioral decisions. They build up a momentum in the direction of isolation. If you are consistently choosing the unreal, a positive decision will put the brakes on this negative behavior but won’t necessarily reverse it. Albeit the character of any one decision can have great force. Just as a spaceship going around the earth at eighteen thousand miles an hour slows down rather quickly when it enters the atmosphere, so too can a positive decision put the brakes on negative momentum if the integrity of the decision generates enough basic honest change. This may indicate why change is often resisted: there can be a good deal of friction and, therefore, painful heat.
     Consider the “good thief” on the cross next to Jesus. His sincerity was of such a magnitude that his very continuance as a being was guaranteed. The promise of heaven did not mean he was granted a state of perfection, it meant he was granted a chance to continue to choose.

Observations:
• Choice is not only about future moments; it is about the moment you are in.
• Resistance blocks acceptance of who you are and is a friend of fear. It holds you back from choosing to be the person you dream of being and doing the things you want to do.
• Whatever the situation – no matter how outlandish – your choices dictate your outcome. The external situation may or may not be affected by your choice, but you are effected internally.

Comments:
The Freedom of Choice
You are choosing to reduce your freedom if you decide to take somebody else’s freedom away.

Choice Never Stops
You are choosing; even if you choose not to choose. Choice never stops; choice is always in motion. Choice is absolute, even the choice to exist or to terminate your existence.

Choice Creates Reality
Since your choice is what makes your emerging reality, and since you are the one doing the choosing, you are the one choosing whether or not you are going to be a “chosen one.”

Too Many Choices
Sometimes you don’t think you have a choice because you have too many choices. You might be frustrated because you are overwhelmed by the number of options. The answer is to actively narrow your options. Look at them objectively, and you can begin to filter and prioritize them. Many things will be in play, with some you don’t have what it takes (yet), with others you don’t have what you need, with others you are not as enthusiastic. Pit one against another and choose.

Jesus’ Choice
Jesus not only had power, he also had complete respect for choice. It may amaze us that he didn’t do what was needed so he would not be killed. He knew what was in the hearts and minds of his tormentors. Yet he also knew the only way to make them not do what they were going to do would be to block their freewill. That is exactly what he decided not to do. It would have been a manipulation of their reality, and he just couldn’t take their free choice away from them – even though it would have meant saving his own life.

No Choice
When do you not have choice? When you are reacting automatically. At the first moment something happens you don’t necessarily have control over your reaction. Your preprogrammed responses kick in spontaneously. Remember you created your mechanical response by your previous choices. And you can change them by your subsequently choices.
     The choices you make during this moment modify how you will react next time. You are creating a new default value. Fear grabs you and you face it. The next time you are presented with fear, your response has been tempered by the fact you chose to change your nature last time.

Positive versus Negative Choice
It is not a matter of being good because of fear of the consequences. Consider your choices as moving you toward the good, not just away from the bad. Preserve life because life is intrinsically valuable. Do not refrain from evil because it is a sin or because you believe you will go to jail or to hell. Respect others’ property because the other is worthy of respect, not because you may get caught.
     And if you are motivated by negative consequences, you are at least refraining from one negative even though it is because of another negative. The consequences of any action will help clarify all choice. Consequences (positive or negative) are absolutely unavoidable and inevitable.

God’s Will
People say that it is God’s will if something bad happens. Most of the time they mean God is personally creating the difficulty or disaster in order to teach a lesson. This is right only in that God set everything up. The individual still has the freedom to choose. The nature of fire is to burn, therefore, if you choose to play with fire expect to get burned. God does not manipulate your choice, He simply provides the fire for you to use. Because a personal deity cares about you personally, He will not interfere with your choice.
     As for the lessons learned, they are part of the divine setup too. As you experience something, you get to know the consequences and, therefore, how to act and react in the future.

Accept and Reject
• When we choose to accept, we also choose to ignore. It is always better if, in choosing what to accept, we are also aware of what we are choosing to reject.
• Choice is inclusive and exclusive. As a species, we tend to exclude the gentle or “soft” qualities and we tend to include the powerful or “hard” qualities. Maybe that is because a great many of the people who have been kind, peaceful, and giving have been killed. The physical and material success the hard qualities provide is compelling; and they are necessary for survival. But there is a greater possibility for survival above the physical. If a person decides to include a wider range of qualities in their repertoire, they will be choosing to be successful on additional levels: the emotional, mental, and spiritual.

Bad Habits
“Bad” is up to the individual to honestly assess. My wife’s grandmother loved to dance but decided to agree with her institutional religion, which taught her dancing was a “bad” habit. She gave it up.
     Bad habits are breaking mechanisms. If you decide something is bad, you are deciding it will slow down your positive progress, that it will not move you to the light. Watch what happens after you act on your choice. A one-time bad act can show you, through negative experience, that you are facing the wrong direction. But you have to look past that instant gratification of the stolen piece of candy. Use your bad action as a guide. Because of it you know where not to go.
     Everybody has their own pace. Don’t be fooled with the glamour of traveling at light speed. Most, maybe all, drugs – including power – speed you up temporarily and fool you into moving with artificial acceleration. If you have not come by your speed naturally, there is the inevitable burnout.

Admonitions:
• Choice propels action; therefore, be sure you are heading in the right direction.
• The more choices you make, the more varied will be your possible new choices.
• Choice is the key. Choose that which seems important, and as you move through life, the nature of your choosing will change. The more information and experience you have, the more the right choices will be evident.

Questions:
• Am I choosing?
• Are my choices fair, practical, and wise?
• Am I choosing a balanced set of positive qualities?
• Am I choosing positive qualities for myself and others?

Symbol: crossroads

Mythological Figure: Janus, the Roman god of beginnings and endings, the guardian of portals, who had two faces, one on each side of his head




Chivalrous

Definitions: gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration; valiant; chevalier

Compatible Qualities: courageous, honorable, generous, loyal

Quote: You cannot have a proud and chivalrous spirit if your conduct is mean and paltry; for whatever a man’s actions are, such must be his spirit.— Demosthenes (384–322 bc) Greek statesman & orator

Comment: Even though this quality normally refers to men, that shouldn’t stop women from aspiring to its noble ideals. The feminine term for chivalrous is virago, viraginous: a woman of great stature, strength, and courage.
     See also: Virile

Fictional Figure: Don Quixote strives to be chivalrous even though his worldview is fanciful. — Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547-1616) The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha {1605}




Chipper

Definitions: (1) in cheerful good humor and health; jaunty; lively; (2) smartly dressed; soigné <elegantly well groomed>

Derivation: Northern English dialect, “lively”

Poetry:
We’ve found this Scott Fitzgerald chap
A chipper charming child;
He’s taught us how the flappers flap,
And why the whipper-snappers snap
— Keith Preston (1884–1927) American author

Quote: Happiness is not the shallow state of feeling pleased and chipper all the time. Happiness is the state of a human being that has achieved cross-level coherence within herself, and between herself and the people, challenges, and institutions around her. Happiness comes from between. — Jonathan David Haidt (1963-) American psychologist

Reflection: Chipper is not a very common quality (yet it must be for some folks) but if you go out in nature and listen to the birds chirping you may just catch the bug.




Childlike

Definition: relating to or resembling a child or childhood; <especially marked by innocence, trust, and ingenuousness>

Saying: You are as young as you feel.

Quotes:
• You can be childlike without being childish. A child always wants to have fun. Ask yourself, ‘Am I having fun?’ — Christopher Peter Meloni (1961-) American actor
• The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives. — Albert Einstein (1879-1955) German and American physicist




Chic

Definition: elegantly attractive; stylishly original; clever with fashion

Quote: Making loans and fighting poverty are normally two of the least glamorous pursuits around, but put the two together and you have an economic innovation that has become not just popular but downright chic. The innovation – microfinance – involves making small loans to poor entrepreneurs, usually in developing countries. — James Michael Surowiecki (1967-) American journalist

Consideration: There is a time to be chic; a time to be droll; a time to be meek; a time to have soul.




Cherished

Definitions: (1) treating another with tenderness and affection; (2) taking care of, fostering, or nurturing a loved one; (3) liebchen; holding dear; valued highly; appreciated; (4) kept in mind <cherish the memory>; to cling to <cherish the principles of virtue>; encouraging

Familial Qualities: maternal, paternal

Quote: Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children’s future. And we are all mortal. — John Fitzgerald Kennedy (1917–1963) 35th President of the United States

Affirmation: Today a new sun rises for me; everything lives, everything is animated, everything seems to speak to me of my passion, everything invites me to cherish it. — Anne (Ninon) de L’Enclos (1620-1705) French author

Symbol: anemone flowers




Cheerful

Definitions: (1) full of good spirits; animated; full of life; joyful; (2) having a bright attitude; lightness of mind; (3) creating contagious merriment; (4) willing; hearty; (5) likely to dispel gloom or worry; (6) something that gladdens <words of cheer>

Synonyms: bonny, buoyant, happy, lively, pleasant, sprightly, sunny, riant <laughing, smiling, mirthful>

Music: Whistle While You Work” {1937}
Whistle while you work
Put on that grin and start right in,
To whistle loud and long
Just hum a merry tune
Just do your best,
Then take a rest and sing yourself a song
— Frank Churchill (1901-1942) American composer
— Leigh Harline (1907-1969) American composer

Proverb: A cheerful heart causes good healing. — The Bible, Proverbs 17:22

Quotes:
• The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up. — Mark Twain [born Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910) Mark Twain’s Notebook {1935}
• Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never come. — James Russell Lowell (1819-1891) American romantic poet

Comment: When you are doing what you “know” you are supposed to be doing, you can be in a sublime state of cheerfulness, even if the outside circumstances point to some other emotion. I believe Christ on the cross was in a state of divine cheerfulness, even in the face of apparent failure and excruciating pain, because he was intensely aware he was doing the Father’s will.

Color: yellow