Definitions: (1) ready or disposed to submit to a desire, demand, or proposal; (2) possessing a disposition to yield to others; flexible

Synonyms: acquiescent, consensual, obedient

Quote: The substance of the universe is obedient and compliant; and the reason which governs it has in itself no cause for doing evil, for it has no malice, nor does it do evil to anything, nor is anything harmed by it. But all things are made and perfected according to this reason.— Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (121-180) Roman Emperor and philosopher

Comment: Sometimes compliance is the most appropriate quality, as the boughs of a tree in the wind.

Definitions: (1) having all parts or elements; whole; lacking nothing; entire; full; (2) having all the required or customary characteristics or skills; consummate <a complete scholar>; (3) thorough; total; undivided; uncompromised

Quote:
• I gave my life to become the person I am right now. — Richard Bach (1936-) American writer
• There would be no need for love if perfection were possible. Love arises from our imperfection, from our being different and always in need of the forgiveness, encouragement, and that missing half of ourselves that we are searching for, as the Greek myth tells us, in order to complete ourselves. — Eugene Cullen Kennedy (1928-2015) American psychologist & writer

How to Live This Quality Today: You are complete right now, but only in the sense that you are the culmination of all of your experiences so far. On the other hand, anything you do will move you toward or away from a better state of completeness. Since we will forever be moving toward The Infinite, we will never be absolutely complete.

Definitions: (1) pleased <especially with oneself, one’s advantages, or one’s accomplishments>; self-satisfied; (2) pleasant; kindly; complaisant

Derivation: Latin, “with pleasure”

To Far: self-righteous

Quotes:
• A modest assertion of one’s own opinion, and a complaisant acquiescence in other people, preserves dignity. — Douglas Gene Stanhope (1967-) American stand-up comedian & author
• Complaisance, though in itself it be scarce reckoned in the number of moral virtues, is that which gives a luster to every talent a man can be possessed of. It was Plato’s advice to an unpolished writer that he should sacrifice to the graces. In the same manner I would advise every man of learning, who would not appear in the world a mere scholar or philosopher, to make himself master of the social virtue which I have here mentioned. — Joseph Addison (1672–1719) English essayist

Comment: Many say don’t be complacent, don’t get too comfortable. This may be necessary advice for a lazy person. But an energetic person needs to take time to see what has been done correctly and take a season of rest before moving on. And when the body begins to age, to look back and appreciate what you have been able to do is a sweet reward.

Definitions: (1) able or capable; duly qualified; (2) answering all requirements; suitable; sufficient; (3) fit for or adequate to the purpose

Derivation: Latin, “to strive or seek together”

Sayings:
• Able to put up with a lot.
• Able to set things straight.
• Able to power up for action.
• Able to pull your own weight.
• Able to take difficulty in stride.
• Able to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

Quotes:
• To know happiness, it helps to know unhappiness. — Alastair John Campbell (1957-) British author & strategist
• Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become. — C. S. Lewis (1898-1963) Irish-born British novelist

Definitions: (1) demanding attention; drawing notice because of interest or beauty; having a riveting or an irresistible effect; (2) very powerful; forceful <a compelling personality>

Derivation: Latin, “to drive together”

Quotes:
• God’s presence is not just Light, and Life, but Love. And Love invites, but does not compel. —  Frederica Mathewes-Green (1958-) American author
• Nothing in the world is so compelling to the emotions as the mind of another human being. — Margaret Floy Washburn (1871-1939) American psychologist

Definitions: (1) living together harmoniously; getting along well together; (2) in agreement; congruous; compossible; simpatico

Derivation: Latin, “to suffer with”

Compatible Qualities: obliging, perseverance

Comments: This is the quality of relationships. The type of relationship referred to in the following is one of mates. There are seven primary components of a complete relationship: chemistry, comfort, companionability, communication, care, creativity, and commitment.

1. Chemistry
A. Physical
This is where it all begins. There must be attraction. The physical senses ask to be satisfied: looks, voice, smell, touch, taste.
Compatible qualities: clean, neat
     Note: Familiarity may not be so severe as to breed contempt, but the wonder and luster does wear thin as you get to know the patterns and responses of another person. Physical attractions lose their spark and intensity even more quickly if the extent and depth of the attraction is only hormonal.

B. Emotional
a. The emotional senses (feelings) are stimulated in symmetry with the physical.
Compatible qualities: energy, passion, sexiness
b. The emotional feeling may last a long time and even rekindle periodically, but emotions usually mellow into more tender characteristics.
Compatible qualities: comfortable, gentle, snug
c. Do not become complacent – taking the other person for granted. Let him or her know your feelings.
Compatible qualities: open-hearted, open-minded

C. Spiritual
The feeling you have found your true mate at the beginning stage is proven reliable only in time. Do not be fooled by the chemistry into predictions of forever. Be satisfied with the joy and energy of the moment. If there is a feeling of “all is perfect,” remember: people tend to forget how to be perfect.
Compatible qualities: farsighted, playful

2. Comfort
A. Easygoing
The ease you feel with each other is a blessing when it happens in the beginning of a relationship. The longer it stays true, the more blessed you are. But you have to nurture it properly for that to happen. At first the fact you don’t know all of the habits and incompletenesses of each other is part of the excitement. When you are infatuated with the good feelings of passion and expectation there is an abundance of tolerance. Enjoy each other with the realization that things will change. Fortunately, people also remember how to be perfect.
Compatible qualities: consistency, cordiality, friendliness, relaxation, sweetness

B. Common ground
This is where the social, racial, age, gender, political, and religious factors come in. How will you raise the children if they are or will be present? Your family and environmental influences can be very weighty. If you realize a difference, it need not be perceived as a negative. Decide if the gap is too wide for who you are. You have an opportunity for growth in every situation. And every situation is different. Make a judgment as to what you can expect.
Compatible qualities: judicious, nonjudgmental

C. Security
One must discover the level of security of the other. Can you support that need? Will money be an issue? How important is career? Is your mate more passionate about his or her job than you are about yours? Remember that no one can fulfill all of the needs of another.
Compatible qualities: practicality, safety, self-esteem

3. Companionability
A. The essence of relationships
Once you feel your compatibility, your true companionability is yet to be explored. This and communication are the guts of a relationship. This is your living space, your habits and hopes.
Compatible qualities: diversity, humor, common interests

B. Independence
Both people must feel they have the freedom of independent thinking and action. It is essential to have mutual respect for the existing and developing talents of the other. Each person must be able to move independently within his or her own sphere of needs and wants, even while keeping in mind those of the other person. Sacrifices and compromises have to be made. Keep it balanced and fair.
Compatible qualities: encouragement, helpfulness

4. Communication
A. Conversation
Can you talk about anything? Can you share everything? Are you a good listener? Say it! Ask it! Communication need not be verbal, but your appreciation does need to be expressed.
Compatible qualities: honesty, intuition, perceptivity, sincerity, understanding

B. Expectations
It is important to explore expectations. Is it the white picket fence or the freedom to roam the world? What about the probability that things will change?
Compatible qualities: adaptable, broad-minded

C. Confrontation
Have you developed a constructive way of arguing, disagreeing, and making up?
Compatible qualities: diplomacy, discreetness, forgiveness, tactfulness

D. Intelligence
a. Do you have a similar intellectual range? Are your levels of experience (schooling and life lessons) similar? How about history?
Compatible qualities: insightful, knowledgeable
b. Do you have a similar intellectual technique? You must discover if you process information mentally and the other processes it emotionally. The speed of these two methods are different. You need to allow for that.
Compatible qualities: logic, lucidity, mercifulness, observant, patience

5. Care
A. You gotta have heart
Compatible qualities: gentleness, sensitivity

B. Give and take
Every relationship requires a certain percentage of your energy. It is often said a relationship is a fifty-fifty proposition. This is not true. When you are first “in love” there is no question, the mutual giving is one hundred percent. What is required in the long run is for each to continually give at the highest percentage possible. You can become clear on how to give and how to receive.
Compatible qualities: compromise, concern, consideration, contributive, cooperative, courtesy, flexibility, forgiveness, politeness, respectful, thoughtful

6. Creativity
A. Imagination
Every relationship needs an infusion of creativity.
Compatible qualities: boldness, decisiveness, interest, motivation

B. Goal setting
What are your individual and your shared goals? Can you share them? Do you delight in the delight of the other? Once you know what they like, give it to them.
Compatible qualities: artistry, generosity, inspiration

7. Commitment
A. Practical faithfulness
Every relationship has a beginning. How long it lasts is up to many factors. Any long-range commitment is made up of periodic decisions to continue. If you are deciding out of fear, guilt, obligation, expectation, or laziness, you are not being fair to yourself or to your friend.
Compatible qualities: sensible, wise

B. Growing
Are you giving yourself and the other the time and support to grow?
Compatible qualities: foresight, nurturing, stick-to-itive

C. Separation
When it ends as one relationship, do you have what it takes to allow it to continue in a different way? This includes the separation of death.
Compatible qualities: clarity, courage, curiosity, sympathy
     NOTE: If you don’t have all seven of these elements in your relationship, then you are settling for less than you deserve or are giving more than you should.

Types of Relationships: Mother/son, mother/daughter, father/son, father/daughter, sibling to sibling, man to man, woman to woman, man and woman, employer and employed, public servant and citizen, friends, enemies, person to animal, person to project

Definitions: (1) possessing sympathetic consciousness of the distress of others; (2) demonstrating a desire to alleviate suffering; (3) a disposition to pity; inclined to show mercy

Synonyms: clement, gracious, indulgent, kind, soft, tender

Compatible Qualities: empathetic, sympathetic, understanding

Proverb: If you want to help others, practice compassion (karuna); if you want to help yourself, practice compassion. — Buddhist

Quotes:
• You should have compassion on each other and leave judgment to God. — Saint Catherine of Siena [born Caterina Benincasa] (1347–1380) The Dialogue of the Seraphic Virgin {2013}
• Every human being has the potential for compassion. I have chosen to pay more attention to it. — Tenzing Gyatso [aka: Gyalwa Rinpoche] {The Dalai Lama} (1935-) upon receiving the Nobel Peace Prize
• I regard it as the foremost task of education to ensure the survival of these qualities: an enterprising curiosity, an undefeatable spirit, tenacity in pursuit, readiness for sensible self-denial, and above all, compassion. — Kurt Hahn (1886-1974) German educator and founder of Outward Bound
• A human being is a part of the whole called by us “Universe,” a part limited in time and space. He [she] experiences the self, thoughts, and feelings as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of (the personal) consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. — Albert Einstein (1879-1955) German-born theoretical physicist

Mythological Figure: Androcles was a Roman slave (2^nd Century AD) who while seeking freedom had removed a thorn from a lion’s paw. When he was caught, he was doomed to fight a lion that turned out to be the befriended animal. Since the lion fawned on him, he was freed.

Definitions: (1) good fellowship; friendly; (2) agreeable as an associate; sociable

Synonym: comradely

Quotes:
• A relation-ship is a boat that floats on a river of conversation. — Michael Hanna (1950-) 100 Thought Adjusters {2007}
• Yes, information matters; but it’s really the quality of relationships through which information is exchanged that ultimately determines the success of an organization. — Michael Schrage, “Organizations Don’t Run on Information,” Lotus Magazine {~1968}

Symbol: King Arthur’s round table

Definitions: (1) conveying knowledge or evidence; making known; (2) able to transmit information, thoughts, or feelings so to be satisfactorily received and understood

Synonyms: announcing, articulate, disclosing, divulging, imparting, loquacious, promulgating, publishing, revealing, straight talker

Balancing Qualities: Clarity, Order

Saying: Elaborate; illustrate; decorate.

Quotes:
• When you live in constant communication with God, you cannot be lonely. — Peace Pilgrim [born Mildred Lisette Norman] (1908-1981) Steps Toward Inner Peace {2121}
• As far as we can tell, human language results from a certain type of mental organization, not simply from a high level of intelligence. — Noam Chomski (1928-) American linguist
• Man, by means of words, can communicate abstract ideas; he can benefit from experiences of others without having to be present at the time; he can make intelligent cooperative plans. — Jane Goodall (1934-) British primatologist
• It is the humble man who risks his dignity to speak up for what he loves. It is the courageous man who dares contradiction and the acrimony of argument to defend his beliefs. If one loves anything – truth, beauty, women, life – one will speak out. Genuine love cannot endure silence. Genuine love breaks out into speech. And when it is great love, it breaks out into song. Talk helps to relieve us of the tiresome burden of ourselves. It helps some of us to find out what we think. It is essential for the happiest companionship. One of the minor pleasures of affection is in the voicing of it. If you love your friend, says the song, tell him so. Talk helps one to get rid of the surplus enthusiasm that often blurs our idea. — Myles Connolly (1897-1964) American screenwriter

Tip: Do it now! Talk about your conflict before it has a chance to build into something eating at you.

Comment: In trying to get a point across to another in a way he or she will understand, you will be amazed at the insights and examples you come up with. This happens most when you are speaking from your heart in a caring manner, and especially, with the other person in mind.

Suggestion:
• Be an emissary of goodness.
• If you try explaining something to a friend and he or she rejects what you have to say, your explanation could be unclear, or it could be the notion doesn’t fit into your friend’s framework of reality at this time. Try again later when you both have become a bit more skilled and accepting.

Symbols: 1) music; 2) water; 3) the mouth (Egyptian); 4) the infinity symbol {∞} [the ultimate communication of giving and receiving (see explanation under Giving]

Definitions: (1) practical understanding or intelligence; (2) sound and prudent judgment

Derivation: Originally, common sense was the faculty uniting and interpreting the impressions of the other five senses.

Sayings:
• Best to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
• You cannot buy time, happiness, or virtues.
• A person can look before committing and therefore learn from looking as well as from leaping. An animal ordinarily learns only by leaping.

Dictum: Today’s common sense is yesterday’s science. — Neils Bohr (1885-1962) Danish physicist

Axiom: Correlation does not imply causation.

Quotes:
• Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius. — George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish playwright
• A walking encyclopedia will walk over a cliff, for all its knowledge of cliffs and the effects of gravity, unless it is designed in such a fashion that it can find the right bits of knowledge at the right times, so it can plan its engagements with the real world. — Daniel Dennett (1942 -) American philosopher