You Have Two Cows

 
Capitalism
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull -and build a herd of cows.
AMERICAN-STYLE ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You don’t have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral. The price of milk goes up, and when you can no longer afford milk, you steal a bottle so your children won’t starve. You are arrested, charged with theft, disorderly conduct, interfering with government sophistries, and reckless endangerment of children. You are tried, convicted and sentenced to Life Without Parole at the new Borden’s Federal Penitentiary.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly -listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother -in -law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows’ milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shiu is bad.
Communism
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most “ability” and who has the most “need”. Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows die of starvation.
SOVIET REPUBLIC COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government seizes both and promises to provide you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. By the time you can see the store, there is no milk left, which doesn’t matter much, because what was there cost three times your monthly social credit, and was sour.
RUSSIAN FEDERATION COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Corporationism
AMERICAN CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows using bioengineered hormones. You lobby an ignorant Congress so as to make sure that you do not have to label your milk products -even if they cross state lines. You are surprised when one cow drops dead, but you work out a deal so that you can sell it to a renderer -and feed it back to your herd. Some of the older second-cycle cows cannot be impregnated -while others deliver twins that have to be killed and sold for pittance as vealers… You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
ENRONIC CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with the associated general offer so you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report states that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Nobody notices until after the election, when it becomes obvious that someone has to go. You take the CFO (Cow Finance Officer) out, drug it with a prescription somnambulant, and shoot it in the head with a pistol loaded with Rat Shot, from two feet away. The COWroner, who took six weeks to decide murdered children were drowned, takes less than 24 hours to declare the CFO a suicide. You celebrate by choking on a pretzel because you don’t have any milk to wash it down.
FRENCH CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine instead of milk. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school, and the suicide rate, although four times that of other countries, is low enough that the profits are still remarkable, even though you are embarrassed by the occasional public Hara-Cowri.
GERMAN CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows but you don’t know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You count them and find you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and find you now have 42 cows. You count them again and when there turn out to be twelve cows, you stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
FLORIDA CORPORATIONISM: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.
NEW YORK CORPORATIONISM: You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.
Environmentalism
ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
Fascism
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
Feudalism
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Socialism
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. The cows are cared for by former chicken farmers. You are assigned to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government says you will get as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need, but the bureaucrats take it and sell it on the black
market. The government denies the black market exists.
Surrealism
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
DEMOCRATIC SURREALISM: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
LIBERTARIAN SURREALISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be “throwing their vote away.”
REPUBLICAN SURREALISM: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
Totalitarianism
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
Aevia — Consider the Source

In 185 A.D., Chinese astronomers witnessed what they called a mysterious “guest star” that appeared in the sky and lingered for about eight months.
It wasn’t until the 1960s that scientists determined that this cosmic object was the first documented observation of a supernova that signaled the violent death of a distant star. Four space telescopes have now helped to solve the most enduring mysteries surrounding this nearly 2,000 year old observation. The combined imagery appears in the above photo.
Aevia — Consider the Source

Understanding the Causes of Fungi Growth in Building Structures

Cellulose Insulation Does Not Cause Moisture Problems

Knowledge is Key for Preventing & Controlling Mold

Dear Folks,

As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being. It may even be assumed that just as the unconscious affects us, increase in our consciousness likewise affects the unconscious. — Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) Psychologist

love to bring it all back into harmony.

Peace,

Jim — The Positive Qualities

TACTFUL

Compatible Qualities: patient, sagacious

Familial Qualities: finesse, graceful

Comment: To be tactful is not to be compromising. One must perceive the consciousness of one’s audience to understand what and how to say precisely what is needed.

JUST

Saying: Fiat justitia, ruat caelum (Latin): “Let justice be done though the heavens fall.”

Motto:Justitia omnibus (Latin): “Justice for all.” — District of Columbia

Quotes:

It is wise to disregard laws when they conflict with justice.

— L. Frank Baum (1856-1919) Tik Tok of Oz

The just shall shine, and shall run to and fro like sparks among the reeds.

— Amenemope (c. 1100 BCE) The Book of Wisdom, 3:7

[Justice] is the first virtue of social institutions, as truth is of systems of thought.

— John Rawls (1921-2002) American Philosopher

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.

— Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968) Letter from Birmingham City Jail

Appropriate anger can be a force for good. Anger has provoked good and courageous people to come forward and defend the rights of those who are powerless to defend themselves.

— The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal with It

Comment: Justice has a lot to do with seeing reality from the “other’s” point of view.

Observation: The problem with a jury of one’s peers is the redneck jury who sentenced a fourteen year old black boy to death because he spoke flippantly to an older white woman. Then when the jury who tried him were put on trial, their peers declared their actions just. There must also be, at least, fairness stacked on top of justice.

4) Lady Justice [blindfolded woman with scales]

Mythology: Astraea, in Greek and Roman mythology, the goddess of Justice who became the constellation Virgo

Be a lifesaver; not a bystander. Learn Continuous Chest Compression CPR from Gordon A. Ewy, MD, and Karl Kern, MD, the physician researchers who developed this new approach to CPR. Based on much research, including from the University of Arizona Resuscitation Research Group, the American Heart Association has changed its guidelines. It now recommends that in the event of witnessed cardiac arrest (you see or hear someone suddenly collapse), chest compressions should be done with minimal interruptions. For people trained in CPR, the ABC (airway, breathing, compression) steps that you probably learned have been changed to CAB (compressions, airway, breaths).

In 1892, the U.S. government placed a help-wanted ad in The New York Times. The person sought was “a computer.” To be considered, the successful candidate would be required to pass an algebra, geometry, trigonometry, and astronomy exam.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there were 18.6 million manufacturing jobs in January 1981 when the Conservative Messiah first took office. During the last full year of the George W. Bush administration, that number had declined to 13.4 million manufacturing jobs. Now, the current administration is blamed, by those with the attention span of a gnat, for an economic morass that was clearly decades in the making. It’s as if they believe those jobs could be re-created in a flash.
In 2011, when those who would subject President Obama’s every thought, word, and deed to the most negative possible interpretation, are obsessed with blaming everything on him, it’s time for such hate mongers to put down the crack pipe and start contributing to a real economy. The fact is, many of their so-called job creators would have us believe popping a few pimples over the past couple of hours somehow constitutes a productive day.
A cuts only approach to economic prosperity would likely produce a lean and mean country that has absolutely nothing to offer in the global market. Without an educated workforce and a forward looking manufacturing base, we are left only with politicians, wholly owned and operated by the same financial services suits that, more than anyone else, placed our entire economy on a plane of unreality thus leading to a fully justified crisis of confidence.
The United States needs to purge itself of those integrity challenged leaders that have betrayed the national security doctrine of maintaining the industrial base. We need a reality centered approach to rebuilding both the manufacturing capability and the industrious tenacity that once made this country great.

— Robert H. Kalk

Researchers genotyped 27,243 people from two separate studies to see if they had a certain gene variant. The 9p21 gene has been shown in previous studies to be linked with a higher risk of heart attack and cardiovascular disease.
The participants in this study represented a number of ethnicities: South Asian, Latin American, Arab, Chinese and European. They were asked about their dietary habits, including how many raw fruits and vegetables they ate, and how often.
Among all the study subjects, those who had the high-risk genotype and ate a diet low in raw vegetables and fruits had a higher risk of heart attack or cardiovascular disease. However, eating a diet high in vegetables and fruits seemed to have a protective effect — that group had a heart attack risk that was comparable to people with a low-risk genotype.
Aevia — Consider the Source

Why is it important to eat grains, especially whole grains?

Eating grains, especially whole grains, provides health benefits. People who eat whole grains as part of a healthy diet have a reduced risk of some chronic diseases. Grains provide many nutrients that are vital for the health and maintenance of our bodies.
Health benefits

• Consuming whole grains as part of a healthy diet may reduce the risk of heart disease.
• Consuming foods containing fiber, such as whole grains, as part of a healthy diet, may reduce constipation.
• Eating whole grains may help with weight management.
• Eating grain products fortified with folate before and during pregnancy helps prevent neural tube defects during fetal development.
• Click here for more information about preventing heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and cancer.

Nutrients

• Grains are important sources of many nutrients, including dietary fiber, several B vitamins (thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, and folate), and minerals (iron, magnesium, and selenium).
• Dietary fiber from whole grains or other foods, may help reduce blood cholesterol levels and may lower risk of heart disease, obesity, and type 2 diabetes. Fiber is important for proper bowel function. It helps reduce constipation and diverticulosis. Fiber-containing foods such as whole grains help provide a feeling of fullness with fewer calories.
• The B vitamins thiamin, riboflavin, and niacin play a key role in metabolism – they help the body release energy from protein, fat, and carbohydrates. B vitamins are also essential for a healthy nervous system. Many refined grains are enriched with these B vitamins.
• Folate (folic acid), another B vitamin, helps the body form red blood cells. Women of childbearing age who may become pregnant should consume adequate folate from foods, and in addition 400 mcg of synthetic folic acid from fortified foods or supplements. This reduces the risk of neural tube defects, spina bifida, and anencephaly during fetal development.
• Iron is used to carry oxygen in the blood. Many teenage girls and women in their childbearing years have iron-deficiency anemia. They should eat foods high in heme-iron (meats) or eat other iron containing foods along with foods rich in vitamin C, which can improve absorption of non-heme iron. Whole and enriched refined grain products are major sources of non-heme iron in American diets.
• Whole grains are sources of magnesium and selenium. Magnesium is a mineral used in building bones and releasing energy from muscles. Selenium protects cells from oxidation. It is also important for a healthy immune system.

Key Consumer Message: Make at least half your grains whole grains.