“Gazing past the planets, looking for total view.”  With this lyric from the popular sixties album To Our Children’s Children’s Children, a Moody Blues tribute band opens a unique celebration of creation spirituality with the Jubilee Community  in downtown Asheville, North Carolina. It was on a warm night in late May last year, that Jubilee hosted the debut performance of The Lost Chord. And the band would sing on. “Wonders of a lifetime, right there before your eyes.”

Mike Parvin attended the Friday night gathering and said “At the end of the concert I found myself standing, applauding and cheering this band.” I then realized that I was also standing, applauding and cheering the sounds and songs of the Moody Blues. This is what a tribute band is for – celebration! Were they good? Yes. Did they succeed? Yes…YES!”

The group performs in and around Asheville carrying a message that resonates with the Jubilants as well as anyone else looking for a brand of spirituality that is a bit more cosmic in scope. To contact the band visit their Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/thelostchordmoodybluestribute/

While a Sunday morning celebration within Jubilee’s diverse community draws liberally from the Judeo-Christian scriptures for inspiration, participants might also enjoy insights from the Beatles or Dylan. At times the congregation is held, enraptured, by the sound of a Buddhist bowl. At other times they will engage with a highly versatile house band that offers a little something of everything, from Bach to Zulu. For any newcomer, it quickly becomes apparent the Jubilants are a wildly independent lot. But, when it’s time for celebration they are all in, just as they were admonished to be as the Moody Blues and the Lost Chord sang “Baby there’s no price upon your head, sing it, shout it!”

“Eighty percent of what we do is music” according to Howard Hanger. It was this same Reverend Hanger who, in May of 1984, commenced a gathering of creative people to develop an artistic interpretation of eight “Seeds of Celebration.” The group shared stories, songs, dance, poetry, paintings, and other expressions in a highly interactive, participatory way. From these humble beginnings the Jubilee Community was born.

From the time of its inception, Jubilee has enjoyed the support of area Baptist, Buddhist, Jewish, Methodist, Episcopal, Unitarian-Universalist, and United Church of Christ congregations. It has borrowed from these traditions together with Sufi, Native American and others while fostering a “Creation Spirituality” that honors all of creation as a “Holy Gift.” Among the many affirming messages displayed within Jubilee’s Earth friendly building is the statement that “Diversity of faith enriches our community.”

During the thirteenth century Thomas Aquinas wrote “We can and do relate to the universe as a whole since we are a microcosm of that macrocosm and this relationship “intoxicates” us.” Jubilant’s clearly believe that Aquinas was on to something. While this way of thinking is, perhaps, as old as humanity, it may have been best articulated in text that a scribe in ancient Egypt produced as a legacy for his son. The Instruction of Amenemope dates back to the the Ramesside Period, during which the tribes of Israel first became a unified nation. For anyone who tends to view our universe of universes in a creation spirituality context, there is one line from this text that sort of jumps out at you:

“For from the greatness and the beauty of created things their original author, by analogy, is seen.”

Pastor Hanger describes a personal awakening of sorts in this way: “I studied under Margaret Mead. She was an anthropologist.” He goes on to say: “One of the things that turned my head around when I was twenty years old was when she said “Go to any archeological site, anyplace in the world, and one of the first things you will find are sacred artifacts. We’ve always sought to connect with that which we do not understand.”” At that point Hanger recalls that he thought to himself “Yes, yes! That’s it, that’s it, that’s it! Were yearning for that.”

“So that’s really what we try to do at Jubilee We don’t try to give anybody any answers. But, we try to open them up to ask better questions about their life, about life on this planet.” Hanger goes on to say “Music is . . . We all know it’s a social lubricant. But I say it’s a spiritual lubricant too. It gets you out of your set kind of ways of thinking and being. It opens the door to other possibilities.”

“The whole western church is built on music.” Hanger said. “The only reason we have Bach is because he was hired by a church and he had to write all these things. And so, music is crucial, absolutely crucial in Jubilee. Many people are attracted to Jubilee because of the the music. It offers such variety.”

At one point in our interview, Pastor Hanger described the way he came into possession of a Buddhist bowl saying “A guy at Jubilee had a store, called Far Away Place. He told me “I want to give you a Buddhist bowl, but you’ve got to come in and let it pick you.” So I go to his store and he says “Now shut your eyes and I’m going to start playing them and you’ll know when it’s your bowl. You’ll just know that.” So I’m thinking, ok, I can play this game. I close my eyes and he plays fifteen or twenty of them and I’m like, this is not working. I’m getting kind of embarrassed, you know, for him. And he tells me “Just keep on, your bowl may not even be here.”

Hanger continues: “So he gets one, gets one, gets one and then, all of a sudden I said “That’s it!” Well, I don’t know. It sounded like all the other bowls, but there was something about it, the overtones that just, whew! And so, maybe the tone of that just spoke to me, cut through the crowd. That’s the bowl we use on Sunday. I don’t know if it speaks to the other people there, but it gets me there.” He said.

Pastor Hanger is in awe of the musical talent at Jubilee “We have wonderful drummers.” He said. “And there’s something about that drum. I’m a big student of ritual and, as far as we know, our first human ritual was done with drum and dance. That was our first connection to the Spirit world.” Jubilee’s schedule of celebrations is available on their website at www.JubileeCommunity.org and they will host an International Conference on Creation Spirituality in April.

In a world of competing ideas we are each searching for answers. And, there is no shortage of people with good ideas they hope will go viral, folks who sincerely believe their idea is the one whose time has come. Even so, there are many highly diversified groups like these, composed of people thoroughly jazzed by diversity and what now appears to be a new unification of contrasts, people who seem to value spiritual unity over any form of theological uniformity.

They have brought a powerful contagion into our midst. It is through this enthusiasm (en-theos), that they are truly united as they strive to be ever more responsive to the Divine leading that brings us together. Some will hum along as they find resonance in the cosmos and each other. Some will sway as they share the sound of singing bowls. Still others will raise their voices heavenward in a full throated expression of gratitude. When all is said and done, it is the common quest of searchers that make us a house undivided for, and far beyond, itself. “I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder, Thy power throughout the universe displayed.”

Consider the Source

 Consider the First Source!

When we align our objectives with the Divine will, when we strive for the attainment of a worthy goal, when we begin our work with a well defined plan, and when we have ability to work together with others effectively, we have already achieved the trajectory for success. For we know that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

Learn how to enjoy boundless opportunity and unlimited progress!

Vincent Ventola (1948-1991) painted his way to light and life! This video features many of his most inspired portrayals of new horizons along the journey to Paradise. The lyrics of Troy Bishop and music by various artists complement the imagery in the most thrilling, yet tranquil, way.

Gobekli Tepe is widely acknowledged as one of the most important and mysterious archaeological sites in the world. The two main mysteries surrounding Gobekli Tepe are:

1) How did people this primitive cut, carve, move, and build with enormous stones in excess of 15 tons? The artifacts are inconsistent with prevailing theories about the development of civilization because every place else in the world, where ancient civilizations have built structures with enormous stones, there is also evidence of settled communities that practiced herding and agriculture. Prevailing theories about this region suggest that around 11,000 years ago, primitive man was just beginning to evolve from being a hunter-gatherer to a herder-farmer.

2) Why did this civilization decline over a period of several thousand years and then intentionally bury the site around 10,000 years ago? One of the peculiar aspects of the construction and art at Gobekli Tepe is that both become less refined over time. The older structures are significantly larger and more ornately decorated. There are clear indications that the site was intentionally buried but nothing to indicate why.

Consider the Source

 Consider the First Source!

When we align our objectives with the Divine will, when we strive for the attainment of a worthy goal, when we begin our work with a well defined plan, and when we have ability to work together with others effectively, we have already achieved the trajectory for success. For we know that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

Learn how to enjoy boundless opportunity and unlimited progress!

Jesus is the light of the world! And this particular proclamation is one of the best examples of how the mission of Jesus resonates with sincere truth seekers everywhere and every when, for as the poet said: “We all warm ourselves before one hearth.”
In the Gospel of John we are told: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.” In essence Jesus, as Creator-Son, exercised certain Creator prerogatives. Here we will focus specifically on the Divine Right of Subrogation. In its most basic form, subrogation means “to put in the place of another.” Jesus did not displace actual persons during his sojourn on earth, but rather the mythic gods of the ancient world. The life of Jesus fit the mosaic of the times in ways we are now just beginning to understand.
Although the polytheistic mysteries were, at best, hazy reflections of monotheism’s intensifying concept of God, these ancient myths endured because they touched upon the Divine attributes. During the dark days of the planetary insurrection, they helped to keep alive the heavenly inspiration that would eventually lead to humanity’s most intimate encounter with Divinity. Polytheism is, after all, evolving monotheism. And the object of worship, for those who venerate the sun, is at the heart of a serviceable metaphor.
Human kind lived and died by the seasons and by, what we might describe as, the whims of nature. The hunter’s take, the fisherman’s catch, and the grower’s harvest all required that certain conditions be met. And many of those conditions were beyond the control of man, unless of course, he could somehow persuade the powers that be. In the mind of early human kind, the price for securing nature’s bounty was to appease nature’s gods. And, the one thing that all of the most revered gods had in common was their ability to grant fertility.
In the days of Jesus, our ancestors were not only slaves to tradition, they could not escape the cyclical nature of, well, nature. There is a reason we celebrate Easter within days of the vernal equinox and Christmas within days of the winter solstice. These were days of celebration, throughout the world of agriculture, and all of the mystery religions are deeply rooted in this particular culture.
When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, the ancient world took note. Bethlehem was an agricultural community. Its main commercial activity was the production of sacrificial lambs. The birth of our Lord and Savior is itself an act of divine syncretism addressing the “shepherd god” legends of Dumuzi in Mesopotamia, Tammuz in Babylon, and Adonis in Greece.

The first two mythical characters shared the role of a lamb that was sacrificed for the sake of the people. In Dumuzi’s case, the opening of the final act was described this way: The “lamb” is sacrificed and his sheepfold is “given to the winds.” Sound familiar? Now consider this prophetic element: From ancient China and to this day, the indelible symbol for earth is a cross on the horizon.
The mother of Jesus was named in accordance with a long standing Hebrew tradition. And yet this particular way of honoring the Semitic God-Mother and Queen of Heaven bears a remarkable similarity to the traditions surrounding Aphrodite-Mari, Mari-Anath, and even Isis as Stella Maris. They all refer, some more directly than others, to the Great Goddess. The name that Mary was instructed by Gabriel to give to her son was “Joshua,” which means savior. And, although Jesus didn’t precisely fit the worldly rabbinical mold of a nationalistic deliver, for those with ears to hear, throughout Palestine and beyond, he is truly The Savior. The whole world was longing for a savior.
In his scholarly video series The Secrets of Jesus Christ, producer, Robert Behzad Sarmast, methodically traces these, and many of the other individual threads Our Sovereign Lord has seen fit to use, as he has woven the tapestry of our time. Mr. Sarmast made this observation:

The pagans believed that the savior would sacrifice his heavenly life in order to live among and teach men. He would have a miraculous conception (by a divine father and a virgin mother) and be born in a rock cave, during Winter Solstice on December 25th. His arrival was supposed to be signaled by unusual astronomical phenomena, and he was supposed to be visited by wise shepherds bearing gifts at the time of his birth. From the very beginning of his life, powerful forces sought to stop his mission by killing the child, but miraculously he survived.
He was of a dual nature, both god and man, and was extremely wise, with a mission to help suffering humanity. He had the power to cure diseases, to heal the blind, cast out devils and even bring the dead back to life. His followers, both men and women, had to prove themselves through rigorous testing, at times even dying for his sake. As a fertility god, the pagan savior hero was expected to multiply food and wine, while teaching humanity about heaven and its laws, and revealing the secrets of salvation.
This Messiah figure was supposed to be at war with demons of the underworld throughout his life as they sought to stop his divine mission, but he was ultimately triumphant, destroying the devils on a sacred mountain. Before ending his mission and voluntarily going to his bloody death, he held a communal meal or last supper with his associates, complete with a bread and wine or blood ritual to commemorate him. After his arrest, the pagan fertility god was beaten, tortured and pierced, dying in order to redeem humanity through his sacred blood. His execution always happened during the spring equinox, on Black Friday, around the third week of March, causing the skies to darken.
His gruesome death was mourned by women, including the Mother Goddess who found him gored and bleeding to death. After the death of the sun god, he was wrapped in cloth and placed in a rock tomb which was later found to be empty because he had triumphantly resurrected on the third day, which was always on Sun-day, causing light and fertility to return to the world. After the resurrection, he ascended to heaven and was deified by the highest god, crowned with total authority as the intercessor between man and God. And of course, he was expected to return to earth on a periodical basis until the day of final judgment.

When Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, so the “words of the prophets may be fulfilled,” he was clearly satisfying one Hebrew expectation. But he was also drawing from deep within the Dionysian Mysteries to reach other flocks. Jesus said: “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” With this statement he was inspiring future generations while also reaching out to worshipers of Osiris who, thousands of years before Jesus was born, said that a dying man is like a grain of “wheat which falls into the earth in order to draw from its bosom a new life.”
The Parables of the Sower, The Vine and the Branches, The Wheat and the Tares, The Fig Tree, and The Mustard Seed all resonated with a far flung humanity. These people had much more than a fleeting familiarity with what was at the heart of the growth parables. They survived by means of experiential learning, and now Jesus was raising the stakes. He was using the lessons, derived from certain traditions associated with nature, to illuminate the way of spiritual salvation for all who would follow. For those responsive to Divine leading, it was clearly time for the ancient sun gods to bow towards the Son of Man — The Way, the Truth, and the Life.
The Author and Finisher of our faith was inspiring the masses long before he walked the earth in physical form. He was exposing the sophistries of the arch deceiver. He was highlighting certain gems of Truth within any evolving, though serviceable, religion that had existed prior to his sojourn. And, he was conditioning the soil upon which his abiding seeds of Truth would fall. By the time of the incarnation, the world was tee’d up to receive the new Gospel that proclaims “The Kingdom of Heaven is within you.” — Robert H. Kalk

(This post is an except from the Ascension University course titled Challenging Your World View)

Consider the Source

 Consider the First Source!

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word choreographed an assembly of amino acids into an exquisite array of specific proteins. Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.” In so doing God demonstrated a penchant for genomic writing, preceeded by an amazing series of prebiotic events, in a highly orchestrated presentation of evolutionary overcontrol.

More about God’s Handiwork!

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word choreographed an assembly of amino acids into an exquisite array of specific proteins. Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.” In so doing God demonstrated a penchant for genomic writing, preceded by an amazing series of prebiotic events, in a highly orchestrated presentation of evolutionary overcontrol.

Molecular biology speaks volumes that are beyond anything conceivably produced by either magic matter or magic man. It reflects the wisdom manifest in all of creation. It is a foretaste of life’s logos. Logos spermatikos (the generative principle of the Universe), logos prophorikos (the uttered word), and logos endiathetos (the word remaining within) are all represented in the genomic “Book of Life”.

Nucleic structures reveal the combinatorial nature of protein synthesis. There are two types of polymers found in all living cells. Deoxyribonucleic Acid (DNA) is found primarily in the nucleus of the cell. Ribonucleic Acid (RNA), while synthesized in the nucleus, is found external to the nuclear membrane of the cell (in the cytoplasm). DNA contains the genetic codes to make RNA. The RNA, in turn, then contains the codes for the primary sequence of amino acids to form polymer chains called polypeptides.

These polypeptides are folded to make globular or fibrous biochemical compounds that facilitate a biological function. Such biochemical compounds are called proteins. Proteins participate in virtually every process occurring within cells. Because each protein fulfills a specific function, there must be a good fit. This is achieved, primarily, through the proper sequencing of amino acids, to support the precise rubrics of polypeptide formation.

The determining factor for this “good fit” often hinges upon our choices of what to ingest from within the range of animal, vegetable, and mineral sources. The right combination will not only inhibit disease but will also promote mental and physical health. Animals (including humans) cannot synthesize all the amino acids they need for good sequencing and must obtain essential amino acids from food. Through the process of digestion, we break down ingested protein into free amino acids that are then used in metabolism. Animal protein must be fit for purpose, synthesized in a species specific way.  When we obtain too much of it directly from other animal sources, thus bypassing the soil/plant medium, it may not contain all the chemical components required by our complex human machinery. Some of our biological macromolecules can only be obtained through vegetable or mineral sources.

Of course these vegetable sources require their own resources. Healthy, nutrient rich plants can only stem from healthy, nutrient rich soil. Such soil will contain a high microbial biomass. Foods gathered in the wild, if the land has not been influenced by humans will naturally be in balance.  Biodynamic farming and integrated pest management (guided by pest control mesa az) can also produce rich, healthy foods. In this scenario the ideal ratio of pests to beneficials occurs naturally. This is in contrast to the whack-a-mole approach characteristic of chemical applications and artificial genetic modifications that are often unintelligent, unconditioned and uncontrolled. The never ending game of targeting specific proteins is, in the long run, an exercise in futility. With pest control nashville one can be assured to get rid of all the pests that are a menace.

Active soils, that are in balance, provide superior protection when compared to the sterile soils that may result from the breakdown of genetically modified plants or repeated applications of pesticides and herbicides. Without the protection provided by nature’s balance, devastating infestations are usually just one mutation away from returning with a vengeance.

Living plants vary in both color and chemistry. The process of photosynthesis is unique to over three hundred thousand members of Kingdom Plantae. The crytoxanthins that give oranges their appealing color, the lycopene of red tomatoes, and the beta-carotene of yellow squash are collectively known as carotenoids, a subset of the group of chemicals known as antioxidants.

Because we do not perform photosynthesis, we cannot produce antioxidants. Certain plants with their appealing colors are designed to attract us so that we may partake of their healthful benefits. Many of us can easily obtain these valuable antioxidants from the beautiful array of fruits and vegetables now available in the marketplace. From them we gain the ability to defend against free radicals and the damage they may cause by destabilizing certain protein complexes and other essentials of biochemistry.

Free radicals are chemically reactive atoms, molecules, or ions with unpaired electrons. Some free radicals are necessary for life. They play an important role in a number of biological processes, including normal polymerization reactions necessary for protein synthesis. Also, the intracellular killing of harmful bacteria often involves free radicals.

One negative reaction involves polymer chains that are attacked by free radicals when the body is deprived of certain chemical compositions that help insure the health of our bodies. Free radicals can also participate in certain other unwanted reactions resulting in cell damage or cell death. These factors may contribute to the onset of cancer, strokes, coronaries, diabetes, autoimmune problems and other diseases. Even the symptoms of aging such as atherosclerosis can now be attributed to the free-radical induced oxidation of many chemicals essential to life.

Animal protein, for example, can create an acidic environment which suppreses the ability of the body to convert the vitimin D stored in the liver to the “supercharged” form (1,25 D ) used by the kidneys. Production of this essential metabolite is often impaired due to the decreased ability of an important parathyroid hormone to create and regulate kidney enzyme activity. Several cancers, autoimmune diseases, and a variety of other maladies thrive in the environment devoid of supercharged D.

Another example of protein misfits involves Insulin-like Growth Factor (IGF-1) as a predictor of cancer. We make more IGF-1 when we consume animal foods like meat and dairy. When men also have low blood levels of a protein that binds and inactivates IGF-1 they will have 9.5 times the risk of advanced-stage prostate cancer. Animal protein causes the body to produce more IGF-1 which causes cell growth and removal to occur in an uncoordinated way, thus stimulating cancer development.

Food from animal sources is also responsible for a high cholesterol condition that favors the production of the beta-amyloid which accumulates as a plaque in critical areas of the brain. This condition has been linked to Alzheimer’s. A high cholesterol condition is also responsible for the build-up of a greasy layer of plaque composed of proteins, fats, and immune system cells on the inner walls of coronary arteries thus causing various forms of heart disease.

A high concentration of calcium and oxalate in the kidneys is used in the production of kidney stones. This concentration also occurs subsequent to the ingestion of animal protein. Kidney stones can abrade the tissues down stream from the kidneys. These streams contain the toxins removed by the kidneys for expulsion from the body. Such toxins that may be encapsulated or otherwise retained within lesions are another risk factor to consider.

So what’s a body to do? Start with good, unbiased information! The most comprehensive and scientifically sound nutrition study to date is The China Study. The prelude to this research involved a dying head of state and a collection of rats.

The first case occurred in the early 1970’s when the Premier of China, Chou EnLai, was dying of cancer. He mobilized 650,000 workers to survey 2400 Chinese counties (880 million citizens) and tabulate death rates for twelve different kinds of cancer. The survey was unique in that 87% of the Chinese population is comprised of the same (Han) ethnic group. The survey revealed massive variations in disease rates. The counties with the highest rates of some cancers were more than one hundred times greater than those with the lowest rates.

The second case focused on a high incidence of liver cancer in the Philippines. Laboratory experiments revealed a one hundred percent fatality rate from liver cancer for rats that were feeding on a twenty percent protein diet. All of the rats that were fed a five percent protein diet were cancer free over the course of the same study.

The survey in China showed a clear correlation to the more affluent areas and the population’s adoption of diets “rich” in animal protein. The Philippines study seemed to suggest that protein, in excess of what the body requires, feeds cancer. As all good scientists do, those conducting the laboratory experiment began to consider other reasons for the extreme correlation. They took notice of the fact that the protein ingested by the rats was casein, a substance that represents about eighty-five percent of the protein found in cow’s milk.

The time was then ripe for The China Study. Sixty-five hundred Chinese people across sixty-five counties participated in research conducted by Cambridge and Oxford Universities together with researchers from China. The Book by T. Colin Campbell, PhD and Thomas M. Campbell II, MD describes the prelude, the methodologies, and the correlations in detail.

We live in an era where out of control health care costs, combined with low system performance, have serious repercussions. These exert stresses on every sector of society worldwide. It is clear that we must restore that lost art of medicine that depended as much on the patient’s nature of life as it did on symptoms. Knowing the chemistry and energy of the foods we consume should be priority one for personal health, healthcare practitioners and world leaders who would address the large scale problems.

Macronutrients are consumed in large amounts because the body needs these carbohydrates, fats, and proteins to meet its energy requirements. To maintain certain checks and balances, and to keep the body’s systems running smoothly, we also need a full complement of micronutrients. These Minerals, Vitamins, and Phytochemicals could be thought of as the MVPs ― the Most Valuable Players ― in keeping the body running well. For it is, when well maintained, a miraculous self-healing machine.

The Father of Modern Medicine, Hippocrates (460-357 B.C.), knew what all responsible individuals should now know. For he said, “He who does not know food, how can he understand the diseases of man?” The authors of The China Study said it best: “Food Controls Health . . . Give your body the right food and it will do the right thing.”

© 2013 Robert H. Kalk

All Rights Reserved

Consider the Source

You have two cows . . .
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull -and build a herd of cows.
AMERICAN-STYLE ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You don’t have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral. The price of milk goes up, and when you can no longer afford milk, you steal a bottle so your children won’t starve. You are arrested, charged with theft, disorderly conduct, interfering with government sophistries, and reckless endangerment of children. You are tried, convicted, and sentenced to Life Without Parole at the new Borden’s Federal Penitentiary.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows’ milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shiu is bad.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most “ability” and who has the most “need”. Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows die of starvation.
SOVIET REPUBLIC COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government seizes both and promises to provide you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. By the time you can see the store, there is no milk left, which doesn’t matter much, because what was there cost three times your monthly social credit, and was sour.
RUSSIAN FEDERATION COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
AMERICAN CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows using bioengineered hormones. You lobby an ignorant Congress so as to make sure that you do not have to label your milk products even if they cross state lines. You are surprised when one cow drops dead, but you work out a deal so that you can sell it to a renderer and feed it back to your herd. Some of the older second-cycle cows cannot be impregnated while others deliver twins that have to be killed and sold for pittance as vealers… You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
ENRONIC CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with the associated general offer so you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report states that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Nobody notices until after the election, when it becomes obvious that someone has to go. You take the CFO (Cow Finance Officer) out, drug it with a prescription somnambulant, and shoot it in the head with a pistol loaded with Rat Shot, from two feet away. The COWroner, who took six weeks to decide murdered children were drowned, takes less than 24 hours to declare the CFO a suicide. You celebrate by choking on a pretzel because you don’t have any milk to wash it down.
FRENCH CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine instead of milk. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school, and the suicide rate, although four times that of other countries, is low enough that the profits are still remarkable, even though you are embarrassed by the occasional public Hara-Cowri.
GERMAN CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows but you don’t know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You count them and find you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and find you now have 42 cows. You count them again and when there turn out to be twelve cows, you stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
FLORIDA CORPORATIONISM: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.
NEW YORK CORPORATIONISM: You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.
ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. The cows are cared for by former chicken farmers. You are assigned to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government says you will get as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need, but the bureaucrats take it and sell it on the black market. The government denies the black market exists.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
DEMOCRATIC SURREALISM: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
LIBERTARIAN SURREALISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be “throwing their vote away.”
REPUBLICAN SURREALISM: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
Consider the Source

“The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field; but while he slept, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat and hastened away. And so when the young blades sprang up and later were about to bring forth fruit, there appeared also the weeds. Then the servants of this householder came and said to him: `Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? Whence then come these weeds?’ And he replied to his servants, `An enemy has done this.’ The servants then asked their master, `Would you have us go out and pluck up these weeds?’ But he answered them and said: `No, lest while you are gathering them up, you uproot the wheat also. Rather let them both grow together until the time of the harvest, when I will say to the reapers, Gather up first the weeds and bind them in bundles to burn and then gather up the wheat to be stored in my barn.'” — Jesus
Aevia — Consider the Source

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. I am the vine, and you are the branches. And the Father requires of me only that you shall bear much fruit. The vine is pruned only to increase the fruitfulness of its branches. Every branch coming out of me which bears no fruit, the Father will take away. Every branch which bears fruit, the Father will cleanse that it may bear more fruit. Already are you clean through the word I have spoken, but you must continue to be clean. You must abide in me, and I in you; the branch will die if it is separated from the vine. As the branch cannot bear fruit except it abides in the vine, so neither can you yield the fruits of loving service except you abide in me. Remember: I am the real vine, and you are the living branches. He who lives in me, and I in him, will bear much fruit of the spirit and experience the supreme joy of yielding this spiritual harvest. If you will maintain this living spiritual connection with me, you will bear abundant fruit. If you abide in me and my words live in you, you will be able to commune freely with me, and then can my living spirit so infuse you that you may ask whatsoever my spirit wills and do all this with the assurance that the Father will grant us our petition. Herein is the Father glorified: that the vine has many living branches, and that every branch bears much fruit. And when the world sees these fruit-bearing branches–my friends who love one another, even as I have loved them–all men will know that you are truly my disciples.” — Jesus
Aevia — Consider the Source

“My brethren, when you are bidden to a marriage feast, sit not down in the chief seat, lest, perchance, a more honored man than you has been invited, and the host will have to come to you and request that you give your place to this other and honored guest. In this event, with shame you will be required to take a lower place at the table. When you are bidden to a feast, it would be the part of wisdom, on arriving at the festive table, to seek for the lowest place and take your seat therein, so that, when the host looks over the guests, he may say to you: `My friend, why sit in the seat of the least? come up higher'” — Jesus
Aevia — Consider the Source