Bob Kalk

A letter home from school Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your … Read more

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However,” he pointed out, “there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back … Read more

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.” The second lady says, “You think that’s … Read more

They were the first to attempt to colonize Mars. They had landed with grass seeds to plant and horse, sheep and cattle embryos. But the grass wouldn’t grow and none of the calves would survive. The horses and sheep were doing well, but there were not enough to meet their needs. So they sent a … Read more

Some time ago, I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the sessions on weather, the instructor wanted to discuss the concept of sublimation–the act of going from a gas to a solid skipping the intermediate stage(s). e.g., frost — water vapor in the air becoming a solid on surfaces without first … Read more

There once was a rich man who was dying. While on his death bed, he tried to negotiate with God to have God allow him to bring his earthly treasures with him to heaven. ‘God, please, I have worked so hard to accumulate all these riches. Can’t I bring them along?” “This is very unusual,” … Read more

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your plotty disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and … Read more

There was this quiet, conservative man who happened to own a parrot. Unfortunately for the man, this parrot swore like a sailor. He would swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. This bird’s foul mouth was driving the man crazy. One day, it just got to be too much. The guy grabbed the bird … Read more

A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye. “What on earth,” she inquired of the artist standing nearby, “is that?” He smiled condescendingly. “That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child.” … Read more

This past fall semester, at Yale University, there were two sophomores who were taking organic chemistry. They did pretty well on the labs, the quizzes and the mid-terms. So well that the weekend before finals week, even though the chem final was on Monday, they decided to go up to Harvard and party with some … Read more