Definitions: Definitions: (1) able to manage one’s own temperament; self-control; apatheia <mastery of the passions> (2) mental or emotional restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires especially in the face of self-described negative temptations; (3) able to curtail one’s own appetites <especially restraint in order to keep within (social or moral) bounds>; (4) exercising authority over one’s self or others; in command <able to set things in order>
Compatible Quality: self-forgetful
Poetry:
Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment.
— William Shakespeare (1564-1616) Hamlet {1603}
Quotes:
• Rare is the person who can weigh the faults of others without putting his thumb on the scales. — Byron Joseph Langenfeld (1909-1996) American humorist
• Human nature is complex. Even if we do have inclinations toward violence, we also have inclination to empathy, to cooperation, to self-control. — Steven Arthur Pinker (1954-) Canadian-American cognitive psychologist & psycholinguist
Reflections:
• You cannot control the facts of the past. But you can control your attitude toward the facts of the past. You can control your attitude and judgment about the present and what you will do in the future. You cannot control what other people do, or how they think, or who they are. You can influence them, but only if they are willing or susceptible to your example or power.
Recognize what you actually have control over and what you do not have control of. It is useless to try to control what is not yours to control.
• There is also negative control: fear, torture, sleep deprivation, threats of harm to loved ones, threats of loss of job, or loss of life. If one is to encompass the positive aspects of control one needs to persuade with logic, emotion, spiritual flavor, experience, love, nurturing, and so on, to help others recognize their own values and to move forward at their own pace.
Christ suggested we love our enemies. If we do, we will help them get in touch with their divine selves, just as we would our friends. We find ourselves within an evolutionary process. Progress is truer if it is focused on the positive. Negative pressure forces warped growth. Besides, people usually put enough negative pressure upon themselves.
Comment: Let go of the part fear plays in your growing process. As you let go of fear, experiences will get more accessible, more exciting, but they also may seem more out of your control. As you change from a material to a spiritual being, you are relinquishing control of the physical in favor of cooperation with the Spiritual; thus growing your soul.
Consideration: Politicians can only tackle the hard problems with laws covering the entire populace. If the individual is mature enough to control their emotions and actions, then there will be fewer problems. Laws, morals, and family rules do have influence in shaping an individual’s choice, but in the end the individual makes their own final choices.
Observation: The person asking the questions is in control of the conversation.
Symbol: the chariot