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Big Families

Two gentlemen were discussing the prospects of “looming” retirement. While one guy had lots of hobbies, the other fellow had no hobbies, and was rather concerned about being set loose with nothing to do. The first guy suggested his friend go visit his kids. The man said, “Well, I only have two kids, but I … Read more

About Jonah

There was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time she was sitting next to a man. When he … Read more

Farmer Muldoon

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, the dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?” Father Patrick replied, “No, we cannot have services for an animal … Read more

The Cabbies

Two cab drivers met. “Hey,” asked one, “what’s the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?” “Well,” the other responded, “when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other.”

The New Rooster

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years. And the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn’t hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns … Read more

Condescension 101

A lady from Chicago was visiting New York City. Her hostess was determined to make the Midwesterner feel cheap and unimportant. “My dear,” said the New York matron snobbishly, “here in the East we think breeding is everything.” “Oh, I don’t know,” the lady from the Midwest replied. “Out where I come from we think … Read more

Control v. Chaos

Seems there were these three professionals sitting around talking about the oldest profession (no, not THAT one!). The Doctor says, “Well, the Bible says that God took a rib out of Adam to make woman. Since that clearly required surgery, then the oldest profession is surely medicine.” The Engineer shakes his head and replies, “No, … Read more

The Client’s Best Interests

What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever. Lawyer’s creed: A man is innocent until proven broke. What … Read more

Lawyer Questions

Questions from lawyers taken from official court records Was that the same nose you broke as a child? Q: What happened then? A: He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.’ Q: Did he kill you? How long have you been a French Canadian? Do you have any … Read more