Sharing the Ascension Experience
Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.” The second lady says, “You think that’s … Read more
They were the first to attempt to colonize Mars. They had landed with grass seeds to plant and horse, sheep and cattle embryos. But the grass wouldn’t grow and none of the calves would survive. The horses and sheep were doing well, but there were not enough to meet their needs. So they sent a … Read more
Some time ago, I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the sessions on weather, the instructor wanted to discuss the concept of sublimation–the act of going from a gas to a solid skipping the intermediate stage(s). e.g., frost — water vapor in the air becoming a solid on surfaces without first … Read more
There once was a rich man who was dying. While on his death bed, he tried to negotiate with God to have God allow him to bring his earthly treasures with him to heaven. ‘God, please, I have worked so hard to accumulate all these riches. Can’t I bring them along?” “This is very unusual,” … Read more
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your plotty disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and … Read more
There was this quiet, conservative man who happened to own a parrot. Unfortunately for the man, this parrot swore like a sailor. He would swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. This bird’s foul mouth was driving the man crazy. One day, it just got to be too much. The guy grabbed the bird … Read more
A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye. “What on earth,” she inquired of the artist standing nearby, “is that?” He smiled condescendingly. “That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child.” … Read more
This past fall semester, at Yale University, there were two sophomores who were taking organic chemistry. They did pretty well on the labs, the quizzes and the mid-terms. So well that the weekend before finals week, even though the chem final was on Monday, they decided to go up to Harvard and party with some … Read more
A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: “Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof.” Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law or some variant. One student, however wrote the following: First, we postulate that if souls … Read more
1. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. 2. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. 3. Money can’t buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with. 4. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. 5. Psychiatrists say that 1 … Read more