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While attention to detail is a good thing, every nurseryman will tell you, rot is often the result of over-feeding or over-watering. Now it may be useful to dwell on this particular axiom for a moment because it lends itself well to the case for and against micro-managing. At the risk of pursuing analogies that break down or the folly of subjecting parables to allegorical interpretation; I would point out that Jesus demonstrated a particular fondness for growth parables.
In the modern day nursery, young plants are routinely fed, watered on a precise schedule, and even enjoy supplemental lighting on cloudy days. The nursery temperature is carefully monitored and adjusted. Predatory insects are kept away. If the plant is mainly ornamental and destined for the indoors, it may live out its entire life without serious challenges to its own splendiferous array and luxurious growth. It is, in effect, bred to expect just the right amount of light, food, water and heat at precisely the right time.
If, on the other hand, the seedling is being raised for field service, for erosion control, reforestation or holding fast against the winds, it must successfully transition from the nursery to, what is in essence, boot camp in the form of a cold frame. Here the new recruit will itself have to dig in for nourishment, to establish and maintain its stance while reaching high for the nourishing rays of the sun. It must do all of this while subjected to randomized cycles of hot and cold plus less predictable lighting. It must elbow its way to the canopy top and overcome increasingly crowded conditions.
Now if we truly care about our charges, how can we consign them to such brutal conditions? If we are raising a family of hothouse orchids or other fragile flowers to occupy a fine tuned environment, little correction is ever warranted. We may run for the watering can at the first sign of a wilted leaf or panic at the first sign of an aphid attack. We may indulge the impulse to intervene at the first hint of adversity. But generally things will run smoothly and we can take great pride in our floral displays.
If however, we are raising our young charges to make their mark in the outside world well then, a hardening off must ensue. The nurturing infrastructure necessarily becomes increasingly competitive. As with the wheat and the tares, seedlings may be permitted to grow together so that the more desirable plants can develop superior disease resistance and the quality of endurance. As our fledglings become less perishable we worry less about how they will stand up against the onslaughts of time.
Likewise God is raising ruggedized human beings for service in the mission field, an arena of competing ideas. He has given us the chance to experience the thrill of victory in the face of temptations to default. And yet, this does not lessen our responsibility for exercising special care and attention during a child’s tender years. We must, of course, guard against any narcissistic tendencies and encourage the ascent of true character.
No courage is required of those immature souls that have aligned themselves with the popular, the rich, and the powerful. In contrast, mature adults can reasonably be expected to stand steadfast against the lure of superficiality, the ravages of licentious authorities and seduction by discredited principalities. It takes great amounts of moral fiber to avoid the pitfalls and speak truth to power. But we are seemingly submersed in a counter-culture that is designed to break down and digest that fiber. The decomposition enzymes in this case are the incessant yearnings of a glandular elite that wields great influence and offers very little in the way of common sense.
When such a culture becomes an indispensable part of a child’s nurturing environment, we have introduced a pathogenicm predator into the nursery. Whether by the adolescent mentality of those indiscriminately parading, and thus cheapening, their libido; or by the purposeful designs of those who would undermine all that is true, beautiful and good; parents have a unique obligation to safeguard their children against all such corruptive influences.
Sowing seeds of self denial for some undisclosed but higher reality is the mark of maturity. Personal discipline is a key component to any reality based success. And it is the undying hope of all true parents that their children shall enjoy such a success. Good and bad habits take hold during the formative stages of growth. And no child should be burdened with having to overcome bad habits that were ingrained as part of a failed parenting strategy.
In the story of Job we encountered the unwise counsel of a self-indulgent Elihu who said: “I will speak, that I may be refreshed.” While free speech is a fundamental right, it can also be an unwise form of self-gratification. Fully engaged parents recognize the difference. Aloofness does not. Parental guidance informs a child’s values. Laxness does not. The practice of self mastery is a mark of superior parenting. Unbridled pleasure seeking is most certainly not. And, by their fruits you shall know them.