What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.
Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
Lawyer’s creed:
A man is innocent until proven broke.
What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?
Skeet.
It was so cold last winter … (How cold was it?)
…it was so cold, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the lawyer’s rates. “$50.00 for three questions,” replied the lawyer. “Isn’t that awfully steep?” asked the man.
“Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”