Advanced Emoticon Identification
What’s this C=}>*{)) A drunk,devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin.
Bob Kalk
There are Search and Rescue Teams and then . . .
Ireland’s worst air disaster occurred today when a small two-seater Cessna 152 crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon outside limerick. Local search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
A Little Help from the LoveMaker
Welcome to the LoveMaker! (v3.1 Erosoft Industries, (c) 1993) At the prompt, please enter your response. I am the LOVEMAKER. A personalized, interactive poetry assistance program. What is your name? >JOHN What a nice name, JOHN. You must be a man. >YES How nice for you. Who is your poem for, JOHN? >SHEILA How nice … Read more
The Sage Advice of Will Rogers
1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco. 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman…neither works. 4. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 5. Always drink upstream from the herd. 6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. … Read more
The Wisdom of Babes on Marriage
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. – Alan, age 10 (going on 40?) No person really decides before they grow up who … Read more
Old Men
An old prospector shuffled into town leading a tired old pack mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat. He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitching rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger … Read more
Ascension Cafe’s Paradisaic Polynesian Ham
Ascension Cafe’s Paradisaic Polynesian Ham #ratingval# from #reviews# reviews Print Recipe Type: Heavenly Entree Author: ANG Prep time: 10 mins Cook time: 30 mins Total time: 40 mins Serves: 4 A tropical delight that will have your taste buds keeping you up at night. You’ll definitely make enough for midnight leftovers next time! Ingredients … Read more
Ownership in the Age of Isms
You Have Two Cows Capitalism CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull -and build a herd of cows. AMERICAN-STYLE ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You don’t have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral. The price of … Read more
Four Eyes on One Fascinating Guest
In 185 A.D., Chinese astronomers witnessed what they called a mysterious “guest star” that appeared in the sky and lingered for about eight months. It wasn’t until the 1960s that scientists determined that this cosmic object was the first documented observation of a supernova that signaled the violent death of a distant star. Four space … Read more
Facts About Insulation and Mold
Understanding the Causes of Fungi Growth in Building Structures Mold – What is it? Where is it found? Why the Concern? Molds are microscopic fungi that live on organic matter. Most molds produce spores, which can be air-borne, water-borne, or insect-borne and are highly adapted to grow and rapidly reproduce under the right conditions. Mold … Read more