The Lightest Material on Earth

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The material has been dubbed “ultralight metallic microlattice,” and according to a news release sent out by UC Irvine, it consists of 99.99% air thanks to its “microlattice” cellular architecture. It is so lightweight that the research team consisting of scientists at UC Irvine, HRL Laboratories and Caltech say in the peer-reviewed Nov. 18 issue … Read more

Never Argue With a Child

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a … Read more

Auto Industry v. Computer Industry

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At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”. In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release … Read more

Two Hunters

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s … Read more

Chocolate Chip Cookies

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Chocolate Chip Cookies #ratingval# from #reviews# reviews Print Recipe Type: Dessert Author: The Chemistry Department Prep time: 10 mins Cook time: 10 mins Total time: 20 mins Serves: 4 A Convenient Way to Consume Mass Quantities Ingredients 532.35 cm3 gluten 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3 4.9 cm3 refined halite 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride 177.45 cm3 … Read more

Achtung! – Alles Lookenpeepers

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Alles Touristen und Non-Technischen Looken Peepers! Das machinkontrol is nicht for gefengerpoken und mittengrabben. Oderwise is easy schnappen der springenverk, blowenfus, und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Der Machine is Diggen by Experten Only! Is nicht fur geverken by das dumpkopfen. Das rubber necken sightseenen keepen das cotton-picken hands in das pockets. So relaxen, und vatchen das … Read more

At the Doctor’s Office

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A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his check-up the doctor called the wife into the office alone. He said, “If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.” 1. Each morning fix him a healthy breakfast. 2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood. 3. … Read more

The Psychiatric Hotline

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Hello…..Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline……. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly; If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2; If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6; If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the phone until we … Read more